Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Start your week smiling with your friends. Kathy's aunt and Michelle Frechette. It's time to get ready for some weekly motivation with WP motivate.
Happy Friday, Cathy.
[00:00:14] Speaker B: Happy Friday, Michelle. How are you?
[00:00:17] Speaker A: I'm good. How are you?
[00:00:19] Speaker B: I am good. It's been an interesting week and a very interesting day.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's a short week, so, like, I didn't realize it's Friday. And, like, literally, like half a half an hour ago, I'm like, like, oh, I never put out the Wednesday job post. So when we're done recording today, I'm going to put out the Wednesday job post on a Friday.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: It is one of those weird. I forgot that it was Labor Day earlier this week. I'm like, why is this week so weird?
Oh. Cause you lost a day.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that's probably part of it. Yeah, for sure.
But working from home, you know, it's. I mean, not that I'm not used to it. Cause I am used to it now, right?
I. Ever since I stopped working in a university setting or college, whatever, trade school was the last one. My school settings, I either had my own office or I worked from home, so I wasn't surrounded by people.
And yet it still seems, like, just odd sometimes. Like it's a holiday and yet my office is still just down the hall, you know, kind of thing. So.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I just need to go somewhere. Like, it's like, what do we. Claire, do you need anything? Anything at all? And she's like, well, I could use this one thing. And I'm like, I better go. And I'll just walk up and down every aisle of the Walmart and people watch just to have, like, a change of scenery so that I'm not at home.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: Well, it's funny you say that because last Friday was my. It was actually five weeks since I'd gotten my hair done, so it was starting to fade a lot. Usually it's four weeks, but we had just reschedule. Anyway, I got in the car to go over and get my hair done last Friday and realized I had not been out of my house in two weeks.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: I had not stepped foot out the door. I had not gone anywhere in two weeks. So Friday I went to get my hair done. I was like, wow, this is what sunshine looks like outside of a window, right? But then after that, I was like, I think I can't even remember where I went. But I was like, I'm gonna go get dinner somewhere, like, drive through and buy myself. Oh, I went to Wendy's. Cause I wanted their chicken sandwich.
And I got some chili, too, I'm not gonna lie. But I drove to Wendy's, and I was like, I'm like, I'm gonna stay outside out here as long as possible. So then after I got the Wendy's, I went somewhere, and I sat in the park and ate my chicken sandwich and my chili, and then I came home, and then I was like, I should maybe, just maybe leave the house more often. So I went out and did some photography on Sunday.
My coworker Jeff, who everybody's sometimes seen in the background, I've talked about him before.
He messaged me. He's like, hey, go into this.
I don't even know what it's called. It's a park, but it's along the river, Genesee river here. And it's a big boardwalk, like, a mile long boardwalk over the river. And so he's like, I'm going out there. Why don't you come? I'll put your scooter together, bring your cameras. We'll get you out of the house. And so I did that, and then he went his. His way. I went to Montezuma wildlife refuge and did some more photography.
I think I need glasses. I mean, I have glasses. I think I need new glasses because I editing these photos, I'm like, oh, that's blurrier than I thought it was going to be.
Yeah. So they did all come out as good as I wanted, but that's okay, because I got to see eagles, I got to see egrets, I got to see cormorants. I got to see all kinds of different bugs and butterflies and all the stuff. And so, like, yeah, I definitely need to do this more often, at least once a weekend. If all I do is get in the car and drive around the block, I need to get myself out of this freaking house.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. It changes the perspective, for sure. I'm lucky that I live, like, really close to. Well, lucky I have fire ant bites all over my ankle because I stepped in a pile in the dark this morning when I was watching the dogs. So maybe not so lucky. Also saw coyote. I saw a bobcat the other day walking just here, and I could just see nature. Like, it's in the neighborhood, you know, because there's a huge while. They'll never. But it's army corps land, so they'll never build back there. And so I get. I get that outside. Like, I can just go in my backyard and find snake skin in my.
Right off my patio and the fire ants are eating it, so they clean it up. I don't even have to touch it.
[00:04:48] Speaker A: Gosh, this is the height of privilege. But I'm, like, tempted to get a second scooter just to have it home, because the one that's in my car, I can't pull out and put together myself.
So that means, like, I could, like the village. Like, I live the village. It makes me sound like I'm, like, in the 18 hundreds. Let's go to the village. But I'm in the village of Hilton in the town of Parma, and I literally live in the village. And, like, most people from where I live would walk to the store. There's a dollar tree, there's a grocery store, there's a coffee shop. I can't walk that far, and I can't even drive to those places. Cause I can't get out and walk across the parking lot to go in. Right? So, like, I'm stuck without somebody to put my scooter together. My scooter is, like, so good that I could scoot myself all the way down there and back.
I didn't have to pull it out of the car and put it together myself.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: So, yeah.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: Do I order a second scooter to have just in the house? If I do, where do I store it? Because, like, it's a small. Anyway, yes, definitely questions that have a lot to do with privilege, and I'm grateful that I have options, but, yeah, so all of that.
So.
So what things you told me before we started recording that you had made some decisions and taken action on some things this week.
[00:06:10] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, what I realized is there's things that I worry about, and instead of worrying about them, just do something, anything. Call in an expert.
Do. Just take any action whatsoever. And rather than thinking about it.
[00:06:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: Seems logical, seems normal. But then it's just like, okay, so, like, this house, I'm, like, a little nervous about, like, Texas and foundations. It's, like, a weird thing, you know, foundation. The ground is clay, and so it's. You just have to watch your foundation all the time, and so, like, there's a crack now, and I'm just like, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to deal with it. And then my neighbor down the street, he had, like, his whole thing going on, and I'm like, just let me ask you, how much did that cost? And he's like, oh, well, just for the foundation repair, it was $8,000. And that doesn't cover, like, the pipes or if anything else is damaged under there. And we're just not. We don't know about that yet. And I'm just like, yeah, good to know. Like, I don't want to know about. But I called, I made the appointment. Someone's coming. They're just gonna. I just wanna. Just to know either way, is there a problem and what. What do I need to do to fix it? Or maybe there's no problem, or maybe there's, like a quick fix or something, but just taking action on things that I worry about. And I'm finding that when I do that, it just clears, like, oh, well, no sense in thinking about it. No sense even walking around, like, looking for more cracks or anything like that. It's just the guy's coming and we'll fix it.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: Whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I mean, so part of me is like, there's another lesson in here that you have to have a firm foundation for things to work well.
And if your foundation is cracked and you are, like, we don't. Like, we talk about, if you don't burn, build on a firm foundation, then the whole house can whatever. And.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: Right.
[00:08:19] Speaker A: And it isn't just California that has seismic activity. Like, the whole country, every place New.
[00:08:26] Speaker B: York has, we had an ice quake last month.
[00:08:29] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. And New York is one of the. Has one of the most active seismic activity. But it's so microscopic that we don't ever notice it. Like, I don't know when it happens. Yeah. So, yeah, so, yeah, so I would highly recommend getting your foundation set.
[00:08:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I think it's just something. I mean, I had a guy out here a couple years ago and he's like, oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just, you know, make sure your drainage, blah, blah. And he just, like, said he calmed my nerves, but I just.
It just has been nagging at me. And then it's just like, I don't know when that crack started, but it's there. And he looked at cracks that I was worried about and he's like, oh, that's just toxic houses. And I'm like, well, that's B's. What am I doing here then? Like, why are we building on land that moves fast?
[00:09:20] Speaker A: I'm coming back.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: It's just one of those things. But that. And then, like, the insurance stuff, I've had to deal with. Not health insurance this time. Health insurance, I got zero complaints about this year. But house insurance, like, all over the country, has gone up. And so I've had to deal with that. And so we moved to a different insurance company, but then we had all that took a bunch of. But I've just been like, there's so much I've had that my husband used to always deal with that. Now I have to deal with. And I worry. That's what I would do. I would worry about it. He would fix it. I would worry about it. He would fix it. And now I don't have the. He would fix it. So I am, like, immediately, before I even have a chance to worry about it, call someone. We're going to get this done. And the yard stuff, I've had all kinds of yard stuff that I've had to deal with this year. I've got a neighbor who's been helping me with that, but then, now I've got to deal with all this other stuff and called somebody. Well, what would you do if I. If you were deal with this? Yeah. How would you deal with all of this? And so I'm just tapping all of the experts. But, yeah, it's a van life. Hashtag van life.
Looking better and better.
[00:10:39] Speaker A: I don't know. But your husband's wheelchair would take up half the van. I mean.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: Well, I was just thinking of hooking him up on the. No, I would not hook him up on the back and just.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: He gets his own trailer.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: Yeah, he gets his own trailer. I would not do that. No.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: Mark's tiny house, it's just.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Home ownership is just. I've owned quite a few homes in my life, and it's just, it's a lot of work, but, you know, it's also a privilege. I've also made a lot of, you know, the house has gone up in value quite a bit, so I'm not going to complain. It's just my first reaction to anything is to worry about it, and now I'm trying to change it to. My first reaction is to get informed and take action rather than worrying about it, because otherwise I can worry about it forever. Professional worrier.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: Do you know what I got in the mail this week? I got a tax bill that I have to write a check to pay. And I will tell you the I'm happy. I'm actually happy about it for a couple of reasons. Number one, I believe in education, and a lot of what our tax bill does is pay our school taxes. Right. The other thing that I'm happy about is it means that I don't have a mortgage in escrow. It means that I am not owing anything on my home because I got a bill that I can just write a check to pay. And the privilege in that coming from a place of. Of. What's the opposite of wealth? Dearth of.
I don't want to say poverty, because it wasn't technically poverty, but I have, up until about five years ago, lived less than paycheck to paycheck and sometimes wondered how I was going to rob Peter to pay Paul, so to speak. And so to know that my dad provided through his death and that I, in a job that pays me well enough to stay on top of all of those things means that although I don't like to see a $1,300 bill in the mail, I can pay it and be happy about the fact that I'm not paying those other things. And so, yeah, it's like, is it fun to write a check for $1,300 to somebody else? No, not if it doesn't mean an iPad's coming in the mail.
But I'm sitting in such a place of privilege, in such a place of abundance right now in my life, that even though my stepfather is not doing well and I don't know how long will have him. And my cousin's husband passed two weeks ago, just one of those aortic aneurysms that nobody can see coming, you know, in his early sixties. Those kinds of things don't feel like abundance, right? They don't feel what it feels like. Things are being taken from you. But when you take full stock of your life and you can say, I sit in a place of privilege, a place of abundance, and I feel the universe blessing me in spite of the areas that are difficult. Right. I think sometimes, you know, at least I did when I was always in a place of struggle, I thought I would reach a certain point in my life where things would get easier because I'd have the ability to pay for the things I needed and wanted and that life would be great. And it is. But it still is not without loss. It still is not without struggle. It's just that I don't have to focus on money to do those things, right. And I'm not sitting in a place that I'm not a millionaire. I am by no means sitting here in a place of, I'll just write the checks for all the things, but I am not in a place of worry and struggle when it comes to being able to meet my basic needs and pay my basic bills. And for that, I am really, really grateful.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: That's awesome. Yeah. It doesn't matter how much money you have, and it doesn't matter.
I mean, there are millionaires who worry and there are people who are poor. And I realize when we lived in Shasta, like, we didn't own that house. It was kind of like a very, very bizarre situation where I was very blessed to be living in a very beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood, in a beautiful place. And I remember walking with my neighbor's dog and realizing that I owned nothing of the experience.
I didn't own the dog, I didn't own the mountain, I didn't own the house that we were staying in. I didn't own anything. Nothing was mine. But I enjoyed and appreciated everything, and it was.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: It was.
[00:15:09] Speaker B: There was almost a freedom to that, to not have the responsibility of, like, you know, didn't have to clean up the dog poop. I got to do it now.
Like, it was the neighbor's dog. And he would just like, hey, I'm coming for a walk with you. And I'm like, not going to stop you. Come on, let's go. But, you know, he just wandered the neighborhood. That's what he did. And nobody cleaned up after their dogs. It was like, you know, there's coyotes pooping and bear poop in my backyard, too. Like, it was just. It was very natural and very different than living in a more urban environment. But he had nothing, and I was probably the happiest I've ever been having nothing. And now I've got so much more, and I worry about it. Yeah, it's weird.
[00:15:56] Speaker A: There's responsibility.
[00:15:57] Speaker B: Responsible, yeah, I'm responsible for all of much more. There was much more responsibility. But honestly, if I really think about it, nothing. I mean, I can't take any of this with me. Right. Right. When I die, it's so just gonna be here. It's just. It's stuff, you know, somebody else and, I don't know, maybe the worry of all of this responsibility and the stuff I have to, you know, the worry part of it is maybe that's just a trick I'm playing on myself. Maybe I need to just wake up and say, I'll take care of it. I mean, I took it that we didn't own that house. I still took care of it and still, you know, still took care of it like it was ours for the most part, although it was, like, kind of needed a new water system, a new well drilled, and we're like, maybe we don't.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: Yeah, we're stewards of what we've got, and we'll keep it up. However, we're not investing in the property.
[00:16:53] Speaker B: Right, exactly. But, yeah, I mean, we. We took care of it, and. And whoever lives there now is living in our house. My son is like, someday I'm gonna go buy that house. I'm like, you do that if you want to.
[00:17:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: You can get insurance on it. Um, it was. Yeah, it's. It's a weird thing when you trick yourself into thinking that there's responsibility, that there's more responsibility than there really is.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: Yeah. It's interesting, because worry is something we do to ourselves.
[00:17:27] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: It really is. Right. Nobody else can cause us to worry. Worry is. Is other people can, um, spark joy in us and happiness. Other people can spark sadness, you know, when they leave and those kinds of things, and can spark anger. But only person that can bring ourselves. Bring us to worry is ourselves. And it's how we are responding to facts in our life, situations that just exist.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: Right.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: And so. And I'm not saying I don't have the answer for how to not worry, because I'm a worrier from way back then, but.
But I do try not to as much as possible, I. When I have to do long distance flights. So, like, when I. When I fly anything further than from one coast to the other coast here in the United States, I worry because getting on and off a plane is difficult enough. When you fly internationally, they're bigger planes. And if I'm seated all the way back, walking to the back of a plane is very, very difficult.
Not getting up to pee for 17 hours on a flight is very, very difficult because I can't guarantee that I can get in and out of a bathroom on a plane. And so I'm very cautious of my water intake or my beverage intake. I am very cautious of where I'm sitting.
All of these things that I worry about. If there's going to be three of us and there's not an empty seat and I'm squished in and I'm taking up other people's space. All of these things I worry about. Do I have to worry about them? No, but my impact on other people is where I worry almost more than anything else.
But I'm trying to let go of those kinds of things because it brings on anxiety, and that's not a healthy feeling for myself. So, like I said, don't know what the answer is.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, everything that I've. Cause I've been, like, really looking at my health, and I think a lot of my health concerns over the last few years while with just being under a lot of stress and additional worries that.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: Things that aren't getting solved that just like, um, cortisol. Cortisol. It's anxiety, it's stress. It's the stress hormone. And it screws with so much of screws with your sleep. And I was having sleep problems last year that I mostly have fixed. If that stupid dachshund wouldn't bark at 430 in the morning.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: Last night.
[00:19:52] Speaker A: Control everything. Yeah.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: Um, yeah. So it's. It's really important to.
Yeah, there's a buffer zone. Right. There's. There's things on the outside, and you got to really give yourself the space to find a place to respond with responsibility. Right. You have the ability to respond in any way you want and to respond to me, I'm. I'm just kind of making a commitment to myself. If my response now is action first, I'll worry about it later. Action, though. Take an action, do anything, make a phone call, and it just feels a lot better.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
The ensuite bathroom in my bedroom, my primary bedroom, which. This is the secondary bedroom, which is an office. So the only bedroom right now is, I've read, I've decorated it in Wonder Woman. Now, the colors my mother chose when she bought this condo and painted it, almost none of it is to my taste.
[00:20:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:50] Speaker A: Yeah. This room was red, white and blue. It was very like, it had a blue ceiling, a red, a red, like, deep red accent wall. And then the other three walls were white, and it was all very americana.
The bathroom that's just off of this room and off the main hallway was that golden poop color from a newborn. You know what I mean? If you've ever had a child, that cottage, cheesy yellow. That's what that whole bathroom was. I've had that one redone. The ensuite, though, has a lot more issues that need to be fixed. So I can't just have a painter, like a friend, come in and paint it like I've had do it before. So I actually took action this week and I connected with a painter who's going to come give me a quote to fix all the things, like where the toilet paper holder was, and I had it moved to that giant hole in the wall and to fix all the things, paint it. And then I have somebody else who's going to come in and put down a new floor, and that whole bathroom will be redone. And I'm excited about that. I've been looking at it for four years. I could have done that before now, but I was like, why am I waiting what am I waiting for? So, yes, taking action, I think, and is a good thing. And the painter's like, I can't do it for twelve weeks. I'm like, I've been sitting here looking at it for four years. What's twelve more weeks? Right. Although when we do make the decision to do something, the urge is like, well, I want it now. I made the decision. Yeah, I've been sitting here for four years. I can wait twelve more weeks for sure.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Anyway, well, I don't know what the bottom line story, I feel like we usually wrap things up with the moral of the story without saying the moral of the story is. But basically, wherever, whoever's listening, wherever you are sitting in your life right now, I really wish you less worry the ability to look at things and feel some calmness around making decisions. And I hope that you are able to fix foundations where they need to be fixed and look at the cracks if they don't. Because sometimes the cracks in the wall or the cracks in the foundation that aren't structural and don't make a difference kind of give us a little bit of character, too.
[00:22:52] Speaker B: Ooh, maybe I'll fill it in with gold like that.
[00:22:55] Speaker A: Ooh, I don't know how they have it. Yes. Yeah.
[00:22:58] Speaker B: I mean, I can't. I'm going to sell the house eventually, in the next few years and that's not going to go over. But, you know, I saw somebody do that to their, they broke their bathroom sink and they put it back together and did the gold where it had a, had broken. And I thought that was just cool.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: That is cool. Yeah. So, yeah, so if you break something, fill it up with gold. I like that even better.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:23] Speaker A: Anyway, we will be here again. We'll record next week. We won't be recording from wordcampus, I don't think, unless you and I find some time to get together and do that. Probably not. Yeah. So we'll, we'll see you again next week and then we'll have a week off and we'll be back after that. Thanks for hanging in there with us, everybody.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Bye bye.
[00:23:42] Speaker A: This has been WP motivate with Kathy Zant and Michelle freshet. To learn more or to sponsor us, go to wpmotivate.com.
