Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Start your week smiling with your friends. Kathy's aunt and Michelle Frechette. It's time to get ready for some weekly motivation with Wp motivate.
Happy fourth, Cathy.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: Happy 4 July. I've got like a little flag on my arm. There's my flag. And then my shirt is. I am the storm.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: I am the storm. I have. Wait, I can reach it. I rose to the riveter on my desk.
Wait, she, she has a rivet gun, but she doesn't hold very well. And wait, one more thing. I thought I lost it when the move, but I found it. She has her little lunchbox.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Oh, that's awesome.
[00:00:43] Speaker A: My Rosie the riveter action figure. Anyway, I'll put it aside, but you're kind of like her out there with your chainsaw.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: I'm feeling it. I've been brave. I've gotten to the point of. I've gotten, first it was like, okay, I accept what the storm is bringing me. And then I was like, all right, I can do this. You know what, I'm pretty good at this. This is a good workout. And now I'm just like, yeah. I'm listening to post Malone's country era in a forest in Texas, chopping up the brush. Going to get myself a cowboy hat.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: Sure enough, as you should I buy.
[00:01:18] Speaker B: Myself a case of shiner bache. I am just going to do this thing. See what it brings me.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: I don't know what shinerbach is, but just send me a picture when you get it. Like, I know what a cowboy hat is.
I'm guessing some kind of beer. Okay, it's beer.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: My joke, like when I, when I, somebody asked me my address, I'm like, it's, it's one shinerbach way.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: I know that's not true. So don't send anything to Kathy at that address.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: It's not.
[00:01:51] Speaker A: No.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: If you send anything to one shiner Bach way, it's not going to end up to me. That's my joke address.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: I do wonder like if anybody like google Maps that they're like, where is that? Anyway? It'd be like, I don't know, some kind of, there should be an Easter egg. That's all I'm going to say.
Oh, have you ever had, like, I don't want to say idolized, but like looked up to appreciated, whatever, somebody, a public figure, only to find out afterwards, like, it was Mister Rogers and he kicks puppies like that. He doesn't like, he was authentic Rogers, like thy tongue.
[00:02:32] Speaker B: If Mister Rogers has ever did anything like that then I am just like, I'm done. No, I'm done. I'm cooked. I cannot, for the record, no evidence.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: I'm probably the first person in the history of people to ever say that Mister Rogers might have kicked puppies. I'm sure he did not. But whoever met somebody or looked up to somebody and then, like, discovered they had feet of clay, right. That they could not stand up on their own. On their own.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: Right. That their person, their Persona, their public Persona was not actually a reflection of who they are in reality.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: Yeah. And for some people, it gets them canceled. I mean, I think that Mel Gibson has made a little bit of a comeback, but, like, when he did the whole, like, the holocaust never happened things. Have you seen him in a good movie since then? That's all I'm saying. Right. Like, because that's when you realize that somebody who, like, you paid money to go watch them and film because they're so good. And maybe you didn't, like, lust after them. I never lusted after him. Just for the. I don't know why all these. Can we start over anyway?
But, like, you don't want to watch their movies even anymore because you discover, like, what a horrible person they are.
[00:03:42] Speaker B: Or, like, listening to Danny and the black.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, my gosh. Right? Did you hear they're getting divorced again?
[00:03:52] Speaker B: There's one, like, short that I've seen on somewhere where it's like they're walking to the car together and Ben Affleck is just like, my misery of my life.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: And he opens his eyes.
[00:04:02] Speaker B: He, like, literally rolls his eyes shut with such disdain. Like, why is this woman in my life? I'm just like, yeah, this is. Jenny is no longer on my black.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: No. And she doesn't even know what her order is from the bodega. So, like, an orange drink and chips and a ham sandwich.
No. Anyway. Or whatever she said. I don't know. I don't really pay that much attention to celebrities, but sometimes I do. But we even have celebrities, like. Like, WordPress people that other people look up to and stuff like that. And I'm always afraid that people aren't going to be as authentic in person as they are. Like, on the stage. Like, when you see somebody on stage and giving a talk, and then you end up sitting with them at lunch. I think by and large, people are pretty much who they say they are. But not always.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Yeah, not always. I'll tell my story. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. But when I was much, much younger, so I was on the speech team in college, and so many of my, the people who ran in my circles and that I hung out with ended up being actors or ended up in the entertainment industry. My husband, he had done a bunch of work with celebrities and stuff. So I've got a ton of different stories, but I will tell one story. So I was hanging out with my friend in Chicago who was acting a lot, and there was a certain individual who had stage presence that I've never seen before or since. He could stand on a stage and the entire room, which, well, maybe it was just me, and I was just like, you know, all else, reality was gone, and he was the only person there. He had so much stage presence, and I ended up spending quite a good deal of time with this individual. And the stage presence that I was in absolute love with was not what I got to hang out with, honestly.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: Smoke and mirrors, all an act.
[00:06:11] Speaker B: It was just like he had a stage Persona, and it was amazing. And he should have been much more successful than, you know, he was successful, you know, as successful as I think he wanted to be, really. But he could have been so much more. He was like what my speech coach would have said, wallowing in potential.
He was. He was an exceptional actor with great stage presence, but in real life, he was just not that person. But I fell in love with the stage presence and would have, you know, followed this, that person who didn't exist. I was just like, you know, where'd he go? Where's that guy?
[00:06:49] Speaker A: Now I'm willing.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Do I want that guy to get into the show? Like, where's the show?
[00:06:55] Speaker A: Hello.
I will grant that people have bad days, right? There's probably people who have met me and thought, meh, God, she was such a bitch. And maybe I was, like, passing a kidney stone. I don't know. But one of the.
Anyway, one of the people that like, okay, maybe a step down from Fred Rogers, but one of the people in the music industry that had such a wonderful reputation for being such a kind, wonderful person was John Denver. I've only ever heard good things publicly about John Denver when I was a kid. Like maybe five or six, probably six or seven, maybe eight. I don't know. I was less than ten. I'll say that because it was when we lived in Massachusetts.
My aunt's husband at the time was married to the drummer of the Starland focal bandaiden afternoon delight. That song, right?
[00:07:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:48] Speaker A: And so when we were, we live. So when they came to Boston, they were opening for John Denver and my mom and dad went to the concert and got to meet John Denver backstage afterwards. And my mom came home and said, well, he was an asshole. Like, I mean, I didn't know. I was like eight. Like, it didn't matter. I just heard his music on the radio over the years. I don't have to go back and ask her about it again to see if she remembers. But over the years, as I got to hear more about him and then when he passed away and all these wonderful stories about him, I would think back to. I would like, in my brain say, oh, but he's really an asshole in real life. Like, he's just an ass. But then I got to thinking, maybe the dude was high. I mean, it was the seventies. Could have been. And so. And my mom never got high. That was not who she was. She's. I don't think she. Anyway, she hardly even, like, Wayne Spritzer once a year was my mom's thing, right? But I tried one once because it sounded so good. I did not. Like a white wine spritzer. But that's a story for another day.
My mom. He could have been having. He could have just gotten off the phone and got told he was getting divorced. I mean, a million things could have happened that my mother passing this person one time chance encounter, you know, kind of thing.
Then he came across as negative to her. So her whole perception was, what an asshole? Which then transferred to me until I was old enough to go, you know, I think that might have been the one off experience because everybody else has all these lovely things to say about the man. So I will say all of that long story just to say, yeah, we understand that people have bad days, but I don't think you and I are talking about the situation where some. Where we've had this one off conversation, but, like, where you really see under the hood, behind the curtain, whatever they say, multiple occasions, just to discover that this person that you maybe had such. Held in such high esteem was undeserving of that high esteem.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: Yes, it has. You know, it does.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: It does.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: There's.
There are plenty of people that I've met just in the word pros community where they have a certain Persona. When they're at a word camp, they have a certain Persona on a live stream or in any other way. But then, you know, you get to know them more intimately and it's like, wait a minute. That's not who you were. Like, when there's a crowd of people around. Exactly. You know, you and I were talking earlier about, like, authenticity as I want to say trump card, but I don't want to say trump card, but it's like the. It's the. It's the thing that everybody wants, you know? Because I think you're a very authentic person. I know that I am. I don't have a. You know, I mean, I have an angry side. You can ask my teenager about that when she loses things.
But.
[00:10:44] Speaker A: But have. Having a range of emotions is not inauthentic, right?
[00:10:48] Speaker B: No, I'm 100% authentic. I can't be, but I'm gonna talk. But I'm also very, like, I'm gonna tell you the truth. Like, if something crosses a line, I'm going to stand up for myself, and I'm going to call a spade a spade when I see it. Lots of people don't like that, but I'm very authentic about, like, who I really am. And I know you're that way, too. And I think sometimes people see, like, somebody called us to me in a private conversation, WordPress a listers. And I'm like, well, if I had an a list card, what am I playing at here?
I could play it, but, all right.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: Shouldn't I live in a mansion?
Yeah.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: What is this? Don't understand. But it's just like, I'm just. I think the reason why, though, people watch what you do or have watched what I've done, is the authenticity of, you know, like, in the cadence community. I'm still in there. Like, hey, here's an opportunity. Hey. Like, any chance I get. I mean, obviously got other things to do. But even though I'm not director of marketing there anymore, I still, like, the community knows me and recognizes me for at least trying to help. Right. Trying to be of service. Right. And just being me. But people see that sometimes, and it's like, okay, bottle that and, like, do. Go do this that way. Like this. Or they try to, like, emulate my authenticity or your authenticity, but it's like, no, it's. You got to go inside, find out who you really are, and, like, express that. That's the kicker. That's the.
That's the. The winning combination. And it's not something that you can.
There's no, like, checklist. There's no prescription for all of this. It's just like, you have to do you 110%.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: I think authenticity is so important. I think that's why I joke. I actually have never checked the stats. I have no idea how many people listen to our podcasts, but I do hear people talk to us about it. So I know we get at least, like, five or six people on a regular basis are listening. And I think one of the reasons is because we can't not be authentic with each other. And so when we're. I mean, like, we make jokes about calling it, you know, compost instead of shit or whatever on our first episode. Like, we didn't want to offend anybody. I don't really care who I offend anymore because I just want to be me in all situations. And that's not to say, like, like, when you're on stage or I'm on stage, that we aren't putting on our professional professionalism. And you can say that's our professional Persona if you want, but it's still authentic. It's authentically professional Persona. It's not like suddenly I invent a different backstory for who Michelle on stage is versus who Michelle sitting on her couches, you know, kind of thing. So that. But authenticity is so, so important. And I teach that when I talk about building your personal brand, that your personal brand needs to be authentic, because people. Well, first of all, we live in a digital age, so it's not like we had to wait for, like, somebody had to wait for the pony Express to come deliver a story that says, you know, j Lo is perhaps not the angel you think she is, right? Like, I mean, that went out, like, so quickly. Right? But. So let's just be honest and say that if you're not authentic, people are going to start talking about you in a very public and very quick way. But if you are also inauthentic, I think about, like, those people who have built entire, like, second families and everything and how they have to keep all those threads of the different webs disconnected and how you have to remember this person and that person, how, like, they. There's just too much to do. I don't have time and brain space to have more than one Michelle out there at a time.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: So.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: No, I probably botched up what I was trying to say, but I think you got it.
[00:14:42] Speaker B: Yeah, totally get it. Like, there's. There's, like, some saying about lies. Like, if you lie, if you pretend to be something that you're not, then you have to tell more lies in order to support it. Until you've told so many lies that you've created something that is so far away, you can't keep the story straight. Right. You know, it's like.
But when you are 100% honest and, like, even, like, just, like, hey, look, this isn't me. Hey, look, this is you know, what you're asking me to do here does not fit with what my capabilities are. Like, just being that honest and coming right out and saying that and just clearing the air, then at least you're still, like. You're still in the same playing field of you, right?
[00:15:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: So even though you might be, like, disappointing someone, you're still in the same playing field of being you and authentically you. But I think sometimes what ends up happening is, you know, people find a little bit of success being a certain way or, you know, and, like, in marketing, right, we hear this all the time. It's like, keep doing. Do a bunch of things and then measure what works and then double down on what works. Well, what if you do something that worked that was inauthentic to who you really are? Do you keep double downing on that? Do you keep going deeper and deeper into pretending to be something that you're not or something that, like, where does that end up taking you? It takes you so far away from, like, that true self that I think sometimes those, like, marketing adages of do this one thing, and then if it works, there's your audience and trying to.
There's one project that I've tried to work on that everybody does it one way. So I'm like, okay, let me see if this works. And I do it that way, and it's like, God, I feel like I'm walking through molasses. This is not me. I don't want to do it this way. I'm gonna do it my way. I'm gonna do it 100% my way. And it's just like, then the energy.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: It'S like somebody just pulls a boulder.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: Out of the stream, and the energy just kind of, like, flows. It's easy. It's done. And I don't have to, like, try to make this thing that is so inauthentic work. It's just. It's exhausting.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:50] Speaker B: Did I say that? New York. Enough.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: It's a good thing. I like that. You can have some coffee with your exhaustion.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: Oh, my God. My daughter's exhausting me.
[00:17:00] Speaker A: No, absolutely. I can't stop giggling now. I agree.
[00:17:09] Speaker B: Give me some water. What is lost to me? Oh, God. I need to.
[00:17:13] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
But, yes, I'm back to the whole. I forgot the point right before that. I'm not gonna lie. The authenticity is so important. Oh, right. So, like, if you start to build all these lives. So as you were saying that I'm thinking about all of these mega preachers, like, the people like the Joel Osteens of the world.
[00:17:34] Speaker B: Right?
[00:17:35] Speaker A: And I'm not saying. I'm not judging their spirituality. I'm not judging their relationship with God, but I am judging the fact that they are sitting on an empire wearing thousands of dollars worth of suits and taking private planes and spending money that supposedly should be going to further the kingdom.
And if you. I understand needing security. I understand those kinds of things. Maybe moving into a bigger house. I understand some of it makes sense, right, with growth. But who you are shouldn't be changing that much. And if it does, which one was the authentic person? And I would argue the current person and the other, using the other Persona earlier to build into that empire. And that's not the kind of empire I want to build.
[00:18:26] Speaker B: It ends up.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: Just end up crying on stage like Jerry Falwell. Yep.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: Yeah. It ends up being a house of cards. Can I just brag on my girl Taylor Swift, for a sec? Because I see that news that, like, she's, like, bigger than big, right? And I love the fact that even though she's, like, taken a lot of barbs from people and has gone through a lot of. She.
Nobody could steal her music, because it's all, like, written about her life, right? Who steals that? It's about her. It's so authentically her. And she's taking. She's going.
She's in London. She gets her boyfriend up on stage, and the royals are there. Paul McCartney is there. All of these really major people of huge note are there celebrating her music with her, and then she's taking the proceeds. And she has given one year's worth of, like, financing to all of these, like, food banks in every city she's performing in. And somebody said something like, she is supporting more people who are hungry and in need in the city she's performing in than those governments are. Like, she's doing more like, she's doing. But she's doing it so authentically. 100% her.
It's just 100% her. And, you know, there's no, like, knocking that down. There's no, like. I'm sure there's, like, a different tailor. Like, when she's, like, having her little fun with. With Travis or whatever, like, a side we don't see, but she's authentically being herself 100% and authentically giving back and taking care of people. And I swear to God, I watch those shorts on Instagram, whatever. When she gives that little. The hat to the little kids, I cry at every single one, because it's like she's just being so authentic, that's like, she's my, uh. Like, if you need a role model, like, she's like, what?
[00:20:26] Speaker A: So much younger than me, but she's.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: Like, she's doing it right.
[00:20:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: I just do not vibe with the j. Lo's of the world who are just, like, fake fake friends. I vibe with the people who are like, okay, I know where I'm at. I'm grateful for this, and I'm going to do my part to, like, give back to the world. Like, it just warms my heart so much. We need more people like that.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: So we're going to end this with a story. I'm going to tell you not about Jennifer Lawrence's lack of authenticity, but my father's authenticity. Okay. Like, my dad and I didn't see eye to eye on a lot of stuff over the years for sure, but I got to hand it to him. When he was just himself, it was awesome. I was in Puerto Rico visiting him. My daughter was nine. She's 32 now. I can't do math. So this was a. A long time ago, 20 something years ago.
So he took. He had to go, I don't know, pick somebody up from the airport to take some of the airport. First thing in the morning, he comes back, and my daughter and I are waking up, and we're sitting down having breakfast. He goes, yeah, so, you know, I had to take someone to the airport this morning, or I don't remember. He was there for. He was. We're standing in line, and he goes, and there's this person in front of us, and I swear to God, they had an entourage with them. He said. So I was trying to figure out who it was because I didn't recognize them. So at one point, I got a peek over their shoulder at their ticket. Do you know anybody named Jennifer Lopez?
Yes. Yes, I have heard of that person. So. But my dad, like, he met. He flew so much. He met so many people, a lot of different sports figures and, you know, Robin Williams and all these people he'd end up seeing on airplanes and things like that. But that one, to me, was the funniest. Like, have you ever heard of this person? Like, Klubien? Why? Is she famous? You know, kind of thing.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: So that's funny.
[00:22:26] Speaker A: So there. There you go. I'm not a good story of my dad instead of a bad one.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Yeah, that's great.
[00:22:33] Speaker A: Bottom line, moral of the story, folks, be yourselves.
Just be yourselves. It's so much easier. Be authentic. It doesn't mean that you don't have different, you know, ways that you work with people and different, like, if I'm on a podcast, I'm not farting, you know, like all of these kinds of things. Like, there are things we do just, you know, but. But be authentic in who you are. I promise you, number one, you're worth it. You should just be who you are. And then number two, like, it just makes other people more comfortable and everything else. I don't know. I can't. I'm trailing off now. Bring us home, cathy.
[00:23:13] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I mean, I think there's a temptation of desiring success but not feeling deserving of that success. So you feel like you have to change who you are in order to fit into this external ideal that may be modeled on someone else, Taylor Swift or Jennifer Lopez, if that's your thing, whatever external model that you have. But true authentic success and the most exciting success is the one that comes from within. The dream that is yours and yours alone. The dream that nobody else can give you, nobody else can tell you the road you're going to go down, the road less traveled as you do this, you're going to go down a place that no one else has ever done before because it's going to be uniquely yours. But it's also. It's going to be uniquely yours. You get to own it. You get to celebrate it. And guess what? The rest of the world is. We're going to reflect that. Back to you. Celebrate you, too. How's that?
[00:24:10] Speaker A: I love it. And on that note, we'll see everybody next week over yourself.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: Bye bye.
[00:24:18] Speaker A: This has been Wp motivate with Kathy Zant and Michelle Frechette. To learn more or to sponsor us, go to wpmotivate.com.
