On Soundtracks, Anger, and Boundaries

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Start your week smiling with your friends. Kathy's aunt and Michelle Frechette. It's time to get ready for some weekly motivation with WP motivate. Happy Thursday, Cathy. [00:00:15] Speaker B: Happy Thursday, Michelle. How are you? [00:00:17] Speaker A: I'm angry. How are you? [00:00:21] Speaker B: You're angry? [00:00:23] Speaker A: I'm just angry a lot lately. So I want to talk about anger today. [00:00:26] Speaker B: What? [00:00:27] Speaker A: It's awesome. [00:00:27] Speaker B: Well, yeah, it's. Let's see, it's 104 degrees here in Texas, so that would make. It's a little angry outside. [00:00:40] Speaker A: So it's only 81 here, but that's warm for us, right? So. [00:00:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, I went out in it, like, it was 100, 506 yesterday, and I had to go out in it. And it was surprisingly not as bad as I had anticipated it being, because I'm like, I remember 118 in Arizona, and it wasn't as humid here. Like, the humidity had gone, and I did not. It was not. It wasn't that bad. Look. See how broken I am? I'm broken. I should be violently angry about the weather right now. And I'm just kind of like, all right, I guess it's the worst of it. We're going through the worst of it. Better days ahead. [00:01:23] Speaker A: It's been. It was rain. It was pouring rain this morning. So it's 81 and very humid, which is, like, the worst part. Like humidity. I can deal with heat more than humidity because. Yes. Like, you open the door and just start sweating, it's just not fun. But I have central air, and so unless I have to go outside, I don't even notice it, so. [00:01:43] Speaker B: Yeah. What do you keep your temperature set to? [00:01:47] Speaker A: It depends on how much I'm moving around and everything, but between 68 and 72, so. Okay. [00:01:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:56] Speaker A: About you, like 80? [00:02:00] Speaker B: A little bit. 75 at night. And that's the cool down. Okay. Because that's, like, I'm not sleeping. Then I've got the ceiling fan. [00:02:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:13] Speaker B: It's in the shape of a. Because the people who owned this house before were like, the guy was an airline pilot, and his son also was a pilot. So, like, the room I'm sleeping in upstairs was his room. And so the ceiling fan is in the shape of a propeller. Fun. And it is on. It's on takeoff mode. Right. [00:02:32] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:02:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I think some of the air just don't. [00:02:37] Speaker A: It's colder up here. I mean, I live in where it's colder. So, like, if 80 to me is 100 to you, then at night I have to set it. I mean, I'm working right now. I think I've got it at 70 right now. 70. 71, yeah. And I usually set it to 72 when I go to sleep because I don't mind it a little bit warmer when I sleep, so. But I'm going to tell you, this is going to make me sound like the most horrible person in the world. I like to be chilled, but when I get into bed, I like it to be toasty. So I've. As I'm getting ready for bed at night, I've got my thermostat set to 68 still, so it's nice and chilly in the house, but I turn on my electric blanket, so I get into a warm bed, and then I turn it off. It's only on for, like, ten minutes to warm up the. Take the chill off so my feet are warm. And then I turn the, you know, I get in bed and I turn the lights off and everything from my phone or just, you know, using my Amazon. And I set the thermostat that way, too. So, I mean, I I'm not gonna feel guilty for it. It's definitely western privilege, 100%. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. But you gotta do what you gotta do, right? [00:03:48] Speaker A: And, you know, thinking about anger, I was thinking a lot about that this week, and that's why I even messaged you earlier this week, and I was like, I want to talk about anger. And you're like, is everything okay? Yes, but. Or, yes, and. Or whatever the right thing to say is. But I I realized that a lot of the time, for me, anyway, true anger, like, I get irked and I get miffed, and, you know, whatever. Things don't go your way, and it's like, whatever, kind of, like, in the moment thing. But for me, real anger tends to be about things I have no control over. [00:04:24] Speaker B: Sure, right? [00:04:26] Speaker A: So, like, somebody hits your cardinal anger. I hit a light pole or something. I never have. But let's say that, like, you know, I've had thunder benders before, right? When it's my fault, I'm disappointed in myself. I might be angry at myself, but I'm not angry angry, right. Like, this situation, like the weather, you can't control the weather, so it's easy to be just, like, pissed off about the weather. You know, my. My parents are not doing well, and I get angry about their needs sometimes and how it always comes onto my shoulders, like, all of the things they have to get picked up and brought somewhere, and I'm. So this is what happened last weekend, and I will tell you, this is why I had some anger issues recently. My niece graduated high school very happy for her. She's going off to University of Kentucky to be a chemical engineer. Bless the girl. She is amazing. She's an amazing dancer. And to think of her like, as a scientist, I mean, it's just like, wait, weren't you just at a tutu? But yes, ballerinas can be scientists too, which I love that about girls. But anyway, so my brother invited family over on both sides, hurt my sister in law's family and our side of the family to celebrate last Saturday night had a couple weeks notice. And I said, and he said, can you pick up mom and Raydhe and mom and Ray, my mom and my stepdad, they said, can you, can you get us out there? And I said, I will if somebody from where you work, because they have aids and other things around, can get you into my car and put your walkers in the car for me because they are too frail to do it. If my mom tries to lift it, she will fall down and we'll have to be called in the ambulance. We'll all miss the whole event. So what does she say? She says, yes, that's not a problem. I said, and then you'll have to call them to meet us in the car when we come back so they can get the walkers out and get you back in safely. Okay, no problem. So I pull up, I call my mom, and she says, we'll be right out. Said, okay. They come out by themselves. I said, is somebody coming out to help you? No, we can do it. Oh, yeah, sure you can, mister. Catheterized heart condition. Lung conditions. Like, he looks so frail. No, he can't do it. So she's gonna try to lift both walkers into the backseat. So me, who usually has somebody helping me do that with my own things, is now getting them situated in the car, walking without my cane. Cause I have to move their walkers and everything else, lift these. And they're not the little frail walkers like you see in a hospital or when somebody just has surgery. These are the heavy duty with breaks and everything else. They probably weigh a good 30 pounds each. I don't know. I can't judge weight, but they're heavy. And so I have to pick up hers, put it in the car, then pick up his and put it on top of hers in the car. So I have to lift it up even higher because my scooter's in the trunk. So there's no room in the trunk for these things. They have to go stacked one on top of the other in the backseat. So now I am angry about it. Like, we're in the car, and I'm trying to be pleasant, and I'm trying to be nice, but I'm sweating, I'm huffing and puffing, because I just had to do all this work I wasn't anticipating having to do because they wouldn't abide by my boundaries. And the only recourse I had at that point is to say, well, I'm not taking you. And I wasn't going to do that to my niece, my brother, or my parents. So now I'm the asshole who just has to bear with it or be the asshole, right? So I'm trying to be nice and everything, and then I'm like, as I'm driving out there, it's a 40 minutes drive. I'm already thinking, and when we get back, you know, I'm going to have to do the whole thing in reverse again, because at my brother's house, of course, the family came out and helped them, right? So I was pissed off angry, and it was because I had no control over the situation. I had set boundaries, and they were not accommodated. And so I now have a new boundary that unless it's an absolute emergency, I will not be driving them anywhere ever again, because I can't trust that they will honor my health and my needs in that situation. And so, to me, that's an anger, because I can't control the situation. It's also a righteous indignation, right? Like, I set a boundary that was ignored, and so now I have this anger about that. And then to top it all off, I'm angry at pain. Like, pain can make you depressed. It can also make you angry. And, like, I sit at this desk during the day, I tell you, and some friends that, like, my tailbone hurts all the time. Sciatica tailbone. And so, like, I really do have a pain in the ass. I can't seem to do anything about it. I tried different chairs. I've tried different pillows. I try to go sit on my bed during my lunch hour, like, things like that to get me away from the chair, but it's just painful. And so I'm just angry about that too. Now. Am I walking around all day, every day in a state of anger? No. I'm laughing. I'm having fun. I'm making the most of my life with the limitations and with the boundary, you know, ignoring and all of that. But I have to acknowledge that, yes, I have anger in my life, and it is about those things that I have zero control over. So over to you, Kathy, how do you feel about anger? [00:09:56] Speaker B: That's a lot, but I get it. You know, you said, I'm angry at my husband because when I brought him home from the hospital and granted that I shouldn't have, I shouldn't hold this as an expectation because he doesn't remember where he is sometimes, you know? So it's not like it was a realistic promise, but he promised me that he would work to get better. And every day is a struggle. Every day. He just does not have the motivation to get better. And he's so he's deteriorated a lot. And that makes it hard for me because even moving him around, it used to be where he would help a little bit with the standing up and stuff. And he was standing up much more. And we kind of lost the physical therapy and insurance. Blue Cross Blue shield of Michigan, my least favorite insurance company, not sponsored by. [00:10:56] Speaker A: Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, my anti sponsor. [00:11:03] Speaker B: I can't even tell you some of the stupidity I had to deal with with some of these people where they were like, well. Cause they, we lost his primary care. I mean, but it's the same type of thing. You have something where somebody promises you, yes, this is our, we will meet you here. This is where we're going to meet you. And then you're still there and you're still doing everything that you are responsible to do, and you're still meeting that person or that organization, and then they pull the rug out from under you, and now all of a sudden you are on your own. And that, it is infuriating to the point of, yeah, yeah, just giving up. I gave up and just, I kind of collapsed. And I was so tired of being angry at and frustrated and yelling at social workers and who were telling me, oh, because we lost his primary care physician. And they're like, oh, we'll just, you're going to have to get him on a bus and bring him to this doctor here and. [00:12:03] Speaker A: Excuse me, what? [00:12:04] Speaker B: Okay, well, how am I going to get him on a bus? Well, call your local. I'm like, calling the bus. So then I'm like, all right, I'll play your little game. You know, you guys are supposed to be helping me with all this stuff. You're the social workers. I, so I call the local bus and they're like, well, we need a doctor's note. Well, I don't have a doctor because the doctor discharged my husband, because the insurance company didn't pay, because somebody messed up a billing code. And I'm like, you guys, they expedited me into this. This service that was supposed to help me. And I'm like, give me a doctor's note so that I can get him to this doctor you say I have to bring him to. And they're like, oh, well, call the. What was it? United way of Detroit. I'm like, why would I call them? [00:12:53] Speaker A: I love the text. [00:12:55] Speaker B: They can help you. And I'm like, what makes you think I live in Detroit? Well, this is blue cost blue shield of Michigan. And I'm like, you do realize that you have employees all over the country who have, like, I'm just like, please, if you say one more word about Detroit or southeast Michigan, I'm going to come to southeast Michigan, find you in your office cubicle, where you're probably taking lunch, like, five minutes after this call. Oh, my gosh. I learned how much I can rant and rave. Like, well, Kathy's aunt can rant Zant's rants, right? [00:13:28] Speaker A: It's a zant rant. [00:13:29] Speaker B: Hi. Oh, my gosh. I would keep them on the phone and just like, go. I could just go, there's one lady. She's like, I would like to go over all of his meds with you. And I'm like, for the purpose of. Well, we just need to have this on our documentation. And I'm like, okay, do you have a pen? And I just, like, rattle him off because I know the exact milligrams and everything. And when he takes. I've been doing this for almost three years. [00:13:52] Speaker A: I. It's a short list, right? [00:13:54] Speaker B: It's a short list, too, and I know it all, so I'm like, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. And I'm like, now, how does this get me a primary care physician? [00:14:03] Speaker A: Right. [00:14:04] Speaker B: Well, we just need to have this as a part of our records. And, like, you don't have, like, what? [00:14:10] Speaker A: Yeah. When is someone gonna. [00:14:13] Speaker B: I just went off on this poor woman. I feel kind of bad. [00:14:16] Speaker A: This in your record, lady? [00:14:18] Speaker B: Yes. Oh, my gosh. That's one good benefit of anger, is that I find the most creative ways of expressing my discontent. My husband, when he gets frustrating to me, I sing songs to him. I have, like, I could probably go to Broadway with a musical called Kathy's repression of healthcare. Like, my frustration with. All right, can I help you with that title? [00:14:45] Speaker A: Not a catchy title. [00:14:48] Speaker B: I just. I'm sure the next time I go, I mean, I've got a song about Vicki. That song's pretty, like, short and short and sweet. I will not be singing it here. But I've got a song that one's memorized because I sing it so often. But yeah, I sing at him, my frustration, try to come up with, with words that rhyme with poop. It gets a little ridiculous sometimes, but it's like one way that I express my discontent. But I do I sound like I'm a musical and it's kind of funny, actually. [00:15:22] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Are you ready for a diaper change? Cause here I come putting on the glove for the diaper change. Are you ready to roll? And I'll just go, I love it. We'll put a couple drinks in me at word camp. [00:15:37] Speaker A: Us. [00:15:38] Speaker B: And I'll share my musical of Kathy's anger. You're in for it. I could probably come up with some frustrations about Gutenberg. Gutenberg. Where did my butt go? It's not recovering anymore. Oh, God. I'm not even drinking, y'all. I've just got water. [00:15:58] Speaker A: I love it. I know, me too. I'm drinking water and I'm laughing hysterically. I think sometimes the anger comes from a place of helplessness, right? So it's about things we can't accomplish and helplessness. [00:16:08] Speaker B: Gutenberg box. [00:16:12] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, for sure. Situations you can't change or you can not be helpless. Like you are absolutely helping in the situation of the poop song. Or you can be like me who? Like, I. I'm struggling to do some things like get my parents from point a to point b and I'm feeling a helplessness in that situation. There are days when my knees do not want to work. And yes, I use a mobility scooter at word camps, but not at my own home. I walk with a cane in my own home, but there are days when I have to plot every single step because of pain. And so if I wake up in the morning, I have to mentally prepare myself to walk to the bathroom 5ft away because I haven't used my knees in the previous 8 hours or whatever. And then I get my clothes ready, get dressed and I have to think, do I need anything out of the kitchen before I sit down in my desk? Because I have to walk to the kitchen, which is further than the office. So I'm literally constantly planning the economy of movement within my space so that I can minimize the amount of pain I have, which is just like, it's just asinine to have to think that way about your life. But you do, right? And there's that feeling of helplessness. And I think that as human beings, helplessness and frustration can lead to depression. [00:17:40] Speaker B: Yep. [00:17:41] Speaker A: And. Or anger. It's not necessarily one or the other. Right. You can be angry and depressed, but when I have been in a mode of depression before, the anger just drives me deeper into my pillow and more into depression, and I'm still having that emotion. [00:18:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Doesn't angers, though. I think anger is better than depression is giving up. [00:18:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:07] Speaker B: Depression is like, I can't do this anymore. I'm done. And you just kind of, like, cry into the pillow. But anger is like, f this. I'm not going to let this fucking get in the way. And it just has an energy of movement to it. It has an energy of. It moves the energy. It moves, like, where you're feeling blocked, it will move energy. And I think that if we make peace with that and say thank you, that that is part of who we are. And just like, I just want to get out of. Out of here, out of this little box, out of this freaking diaper change. I just want to get out of this. Just help me get out of this and I'll. And just move beyond where, you know, and then there's the next wall, you know, it's not necessarily going to solve your problems, but at least it's movement. [00:18:59] Speaker A: Right. I think that the anger can be a catalyst, and it'll either be a catalyst into depression. Because you give up, it doesn't mean you're still not upset about something. Right. Maybe anger is the right. Not the right thing. But if you can be depressed and upset, maybe the anger is too volatile an emotion to pair with depression, but it can also be a catalyst to accomplishment and to doing things. So, for example, the example of moving my parents or taking my parents and having to do that extra work, which is why my knees hurt more this week, which is why my shoulder hurts more this week, because I actually had to lift and move things that I shouldn't have been lifting and moving. I can, in the moment was helplessness, in the fact that I had to do it right. I had nobody else that I could turn to to do it. But the catalyst of the anger, catalyst for me was setting a further boundary, that now when they call and say, well, you, I will say no, I will say no, I cannot, because you have not respected the fact that I cannot help you in those situations. My mother is in the hospital a lot. She falls, and every time she falls, because she is on Coumadin blood thinner, she has to go. If she hits her head, if she hits, she has to go to the hospital, be checked out for blood clots and make sure that she's okay. So they take her by ambulance, and then what does she do? She calls me to say, can you take me home? And this has been going on for over a year now because a year and a half, I took her home. I said, yep, I'll be there. I'll take her home. I said, she had no walker. She had nothing, you know, but her husband has his scooter. So he was pulling her walker behind him on the scooter coming to the car so that she'd have her walker to walk in, because I can't walk her in. And she lost her balance when she closed the door. She tried to move the door instead. The door pushed, like her own body was not sufficient to move the door. So when she pushed the door, she pushed herself out of balance. She fell and hit her head on the pavement. And we had to call an ambulance. She had to go right back to the emergency room. She just got sprung from. Gosh. So I now have a boundary that I will not pick her up from the hospital, and she will call me every single time and say, can you pick me up? And I say every single time, mom, I cannot do that. It's not safe for you, and it's not safe for me, and I refuse to put us in that situation. So the next time the doctor calls me, your mother's ready to get picked up. Not even the nurse, the doctor, your mother's ready. And she said that you might come pick her. You'd be able to come pick her up. And I said, no, I cannot pick up my mother because I myself am disabled, and I cannot provide to make sure that she is safely into her apartment. And so she will have to arrange a ride. And she has Medicare, so she has free. They'll set it up for her to go home. And he said, oh, okay. I wasn't aware of that. Thank you. I'll make sure that the social worker set it up. 20 minutes later, he calls me back and he says, she's insisting that you come pick her up. And I said, listen to me. I sound like talking to the doctor. Listen to me. When I say this to you. I am insisting that I will not, because it is not safe. I am not making a decision based on. I don't want to. I'm making a decision based on it is not safe for her, and it is not safe for me. And now I have drawn that boundary, and I will not if she has. And she'll call me and say, but it might be 2 hours before the shuttle can, you know, whatever it can take me. And I said, then you will have to wait those 2 hours. [00:22:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:25] Speaker A: And so I've been able to set bigger boundaries because of that. Now I have another boundary set. But I tried to draw a boundary to just take them one place, and they didn't abide by it. So now I have a new boundary that I will not be transporting them anymore. It's just not safe. I put myself in harm's way to make sure that they weren't in harm's way. And that is not. [00:22:44] Speaker B: That's not okay. [00:22:45] Speaker A: I have to put my own oxygen mask on before I can help other people. And in that situation, I couldn't do that, and I put myself in jeopardy, which was not the right way to behave. So. [00:22:54] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:22:55] Speaker A: So anger can absolutely be a catalyst to better things we accomplish. Like underrepresented in tech. It's a thing because there's righteous anger about the way that underrepresented people are treated in the world. And so it is those kinds of things that just give you that fire in your belly to make things better for yourself and other people, and that comes from a righteous indignation or a righteous anger, too. [00:23:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:23] Speaker A: So I agree. Yes, absolutely. Depression is not the right way. We don't want to go into that. I've been there. I know other people have, too. I don't know about you. I talk about that, my anxiety and depression, but it's okay when you go there. [00:23:38] Speaker B: It's okay. Let yourself have that as a space. [00:23:41] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. [00:23:42] Speaker B: And be gentle with yourself if you do live there. [00:23:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:46] Speaker B: You just realize it's, well, it's not going to last forever. Because all of these emotions, depression, anger, frustration, sadness, all of these things are not you. The core of who you really are. These are just emotions. And emotions are like transients that come in like a rock band, and some of them have a great party in your. In your home, and others of them come in and trash the place, and you got to clean up after them. But. But distance yourself from your emotions, your thoughts. All these things come in as a visitor, and it's okay that they're there, and it's okay that you feel them. And it's okay that you sort of, like, deepen your knowing of self through the emotions that visit, but realize you aren't, it's not a permanent state. [00:24:37] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:38] Speaker B: You can, you can feel anger, but you yourself, at the core of who you are, are not anger. You are not angry. You are just feeling an emotion of anger, but to distance yourself and say, okay, I'm feeling anger. What is the message for me as a soul, as a being about this experience? Take that message. Empower yourself, expand yourself. Because I had this weird. So we've, we've already admitted Kathy is woo. And I'm like, why is. I've got all this yard stuff. The list is long of things that are on my mind. And I like, man, why, why, why? And I got a very clear, intuitive message. You asked for more, like, for more than this, for more of this. Very indignantly I said, and I got a very strong feeling that when you ask for more, it's not just more of the good stuff, it's more of the, if you want more, if you want to expand your experience, you're going to have more of everything. And you have to welcome that in, have gratitude for the lessons that it is there to teach you and then let it go. [00:25:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:58] Speaker B: Because it is not you. Thank you for the lesson. Bye bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Mother, can I say that on here? [00:26:07] Speaker A: We can say anything. It's our podcast. [00:26:09] Speaker B: That's right. [00:26:11] Speaker A: Nobody can. Nobody's the boss of us. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Feels good. I'm going to put that in a song now. I got to write some songs. [00:26:23] Speaker A: I'm like, why am I not like, what's the word I want? Why do. Why don't I. Why have. I can't see it, I can't talk today. Why have I not written a soundtrack to my everyday life? Now I must. I must be like Kathy. I'll wake up in the morning like, be like Kathy. Be like Kathy. Be like Kathy. Write some. Sorry about your fucking day. [00:26:47] Speaker B: Sometimes it comes out like that. Yeah, or sometimes it'll come out and it'll be. I'll start with the frozen soundtrack because Claire tortured me with that, you know, she was that age, you know, when it was out and she super into let it go and all of that. And so some of those songs, yes. [00:27:07] Speaker A: So little aside, I am one of those people. My ADHD presents itself, whatever you want to call it, is my stim or my whatever is that I have. There's never a moment in time where there isn't a song playing in my head. The problem is that the song will be the same song over and over and over for days or weeks sometimes, which is incredibly frustrating. Just incredibly frustrating. There was a time in my life when I was, gosh, this was over 20 years ago, and I was working at a school, at a college grad school, actually. And the situation that I was being put in in my role was untenable. And so I wrote a little song in my head that went like, I hate my life. I hate my height. Like, I really, really hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I really, really hate my life. And, like, I'd be in the bathroom at work, and that song's going through my head because I didn't have anything to distract me from that. I will gladly tell you that as bad as things have gotten physically with my parents, all those things, that song has not come back into my head in almost 20 years. But I do recall that it was there before as a way of how bad things came can feel in certain situations. [00:28:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:28:24] Speaker A: It's like a little can can of I hiding my life in my head at that time. That was, like, the weirdest thing. Just the weirdest thing. [00:28:30] Speaker B: Hilarious. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Yeah. And then I get dory in my head, like, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming. That's all you can do. [00:28:40] Speaker B: That's all you can do. [00:28:42] Speaker A: For sure. [00:28:42] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, I have so many songs in my. Yeah. [00:28:50] Speaker A: Here's what you can sing this one to your husband next time. Like, take your shower, take your shower, take your shower, take your shower. There are people here to help you. I don't know. [00:29:04] Speaker B: There was a shower song at one point. I can't remember it now, but, yeah, even when I was little, I used to make up songs for my kids. Like, we had a tubby song. It was the tubby then, you know. [00:29:15] Speaker A: Uh huh. [00:29:16] Speaker B: And it was. Yeah. So there was a tubby song, and then there's songs for the cats, which, if I sing it right now, they'll all get up and be like, what? This is awful early for who wants kitty? Wait. Yeah, I'll sing to them. [00:29:33] Speaker A: Hello. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Some kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Hold there. No, they are. I don't want to put them on over here. They might drop something on the floor. So. Yeah, that's the soundtrack of our lives. The angry soundtrack of our lives. [00:29:51] Speaker A: I will say that, yes, anger can move you to positive things, and you can use it, but it's so important to have a way to vent some of that. What's building. Right. And to have, like, people like you in my life, people like Jeff Betancourt, like, people who are. Who I can trust with the things that come out of my mouth when I'm angry about my parents or whatever's going on in my life, who aren't going to be like, oh, my God, did you hear Michelle just tell me kind of thing? You know, that. That I trust and that I know that there's a sacredness there that I can vent and then feel better that at least somebody else. It feels like you're. Like you've shared the burden when you've at least been able to tell somebody about it, even though they can't do anything about it, they can't fix things for you. Just the fact that you're not the only person who knows what you're going through, I think can help a lot. And so having people that I can share that with, and certainly you and Jeff are two of those people for me that allow me to at least get it off so that I don't go to bed and have it stuck in my head all night and that kind of thing, too. So thank you. Thank you for being a safe space for me. [00:31:03] Speaker B: Oh, and likewise, you've heard it all. [00:31:07] Speaker A: Yeah. We've shared a lot over the last few years. Which brings me to the last thing. I'm so excited. I'm not angry at all about the fact that I get to see you in, like, five weeks. So that'll be fun. [00:31:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, it's coming up fast, isn't it? [00:31:20] Speaker A: It is, it is. I'm already starting to think, like, I need to start to put in a pile of things that I know I have to bring with me so I don't get there and forget the things I told people I'd bring. That makes sense. Yeah. So, yeah. [00:31:33] Speaker B: Anyway, so much to do to get ready. [00:31:36] Speaker A: I have to be honest with you, and I don't feel as angry anymore as I did when I first. [00:31:41] Speaker B: Oh, good. [00:31:42] Speaker A: So there you go. My tailbone doesn't even hurt quite as much. Cause I'm release endorphins or something. I don't know. Yeah, it's a good thing. [00:31:50] Speaker B: Well, hopefully I made you laugh a little bit. I am ridiculous. Hopefully I've made other people laugh, too. I am ridiculous. [00:31:58] Speaker A: You are a treasure. [00:32:02] Speaker B: We have to laugh at this stuff because it really. It is so transient. You know these. When life gets stressful, when you feel overburdened, it doesn't last forever. And within you is a place where you are always free. [00:32:19] Speaker A: When life hands you lemons, you have several choices of what to do with those lemons. You can make lemonade. You can be like, hey, free lemons. Or you can pick it up and wing it right back at wherever it came from and hope that you hit something and make it hurt. I mean, those are your choices. [00:32:34] Speaker B: Follow us for more retribution. Ideas. [00:32:37] Speaker A: Look, lemon grenades. Anyway, oh. Join us again next week where we have no idea what we're going to talk about, but hopefully we bring you at least a, a treasure or two or at least make you feel a little bit better about your own lives. [00:32:54] Speaker B: That's it. [00:32:56] Speaker A: Okay. Thank you, Kathy. [00:32:59] Speaker B: Thanks, Michelle. [00:33:00] Speaker A: We'll see you. For you later. [00:33:01] Speaker B: Bye bye. [00:33:04] Speaker A: This has been Wp motivate with Kathy Zant and Michelle freshette. To learn more or to sponsor us, go to wpmotivate.com.