The Joy of Missing Out

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Start your week smiling with your friends. Kathy's aunt and Michelle Frechette. It's time to get ready for some weekly motivation with WP motivate. It's Friday, Cathy. [00:00:16] Speaker B: It's Friday. It's been one of those weeks. [00:00:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I usually say, happy Friday, Cathy, but it's just mediocre Friday. Today. [00:00:25] Speaker B: It's mediocre Friday. I'm sick. For anyone who's watching this on YouTube, or maybe you hear it in my voice, but I am sick. I am sick, and I'm still trying to soldier on through this day because it's Friday and I've only got a few hours left, so I've got things I want to get done. And, yeah, here I am. [00:00:47] Speaker A: The end is in sight for today and the week. The end is nigh. That sounds so fatalistic, but, yeah, but. [00:00:56] Speaker B: This week, stab it to the heart, man. Put this thing out of its misery. [00:01:01] Speaker A: Who's, like, belated the. The tunnel, but sometimes that's just the freight train coming towards you. So you got to be careful about that, too, right? [00:01:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say I had on the week started better because I went and had my, like, physical assessments done and, like, all of my, like, health metrics. Well, and of course, then I get sick, but all of my health metrics are better. Like, my resting heart rates. Like, all of those things are better. So I'm healthier. And I made a joke to someone that, uh, oh, great. [00:01:30] Speaker A: I get to do this life for. [00:01:32] Speaker B: A longer period of time. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Like, am I winning? [00:01:35] Speaker B: Am I really winning? I hope it just. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Can I just reincarnate now? Yeah. [00:01:41] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. I've paid off a lot of karma or have had invested in the karma box this lifetime. So I'm. I'm hoping, uh, yeah, just balance that crap out. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Yeah, it was a. Was it you? I was talking to you last week where I said about Deirdre Flint, my favorite, like, artist, and how she has a song about past life regress. And, like, she's like, everybody else comes back as Cleopatra. And I'm Mugwart. Yeah, I'm having a Mugwart day. [00:02:09] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:02:11] Speaker A: Oh, well, I. Last year, I got the pleasure of hearing Carol Ohllinger talk about the joy of missing out. And I sat in the audience. It was at Wordcamp Asia, 2023. And I thought, that doesn't make any sense. Like, if you're missing out on something, how can you find joy in that? Right? And that was just from the title. Once she started talking, I was like, oh, I get it. Right? Like, it was easy to understand what she actually talked through, the concept, and I if everybody knows me, and I think if you're listening, you probably do. I hate missing out on things. Like, if there's, like, when you were at Wordcamp Phoenix, I wanted to be there so bad. Last year, you spoke in person at WP Campus, and I was remote, and I wanted to be there so bad. Right. All of the things. And this weekend is Wordcamp Buffalo. Crush people when you hear it. It'll have been just two days ago, but this weekend is word camp Buffalo. And I was on the organizing team, but I wasn't as active as I usually am because I had been really sick. You remember coming back from where? Camp Asia this year and trying to catch up on all the things and deal with my parents and buying the condo and all that stuff. I made the decision earlier this week not to go. And it's only an hour and a half drive, and, you know, it only been two nights in a hotel, which would have been too expensive. But the thought of, like, having to find somebody to help me with my scooter and put on a happy face the whole weekend. Not that I'm not happy, but you know what I mean? Like, just, like, having to be on right. And have my. And just be energetic and lean into all the things and have all the conversations. I want to be there and do that, but I just can't be there and do that this weekend. I need a day where I turn off my phone or take my cameras out somewhere. There is no cell service and just exist outside of my apartment or my condo. Because, like, I've been. I'm here all the time. Like, I am here all the time. I hardly ever leave, but I need to just get out and not be around people, not be around hubbub and activity. I've had ocular migraines this week from stress. I just need to find the joy of not being places that I also just want to be. And so it was not an easy decision. It really wasn't. Because it's doesn't come naturally to me to miss out on seeing my WordPress friends and to miss out on hearing people talk and having meals with people and. And I'm sure there'll be a couple twinges this weekend of, oh, I know they're having a really great meal right now, or it would have been so nice to see these people or get away, kitty, all this, you know, that kind of thing. But. But, yeah, I'm leaning into the joy of not being there too and that's not to say anything negative about the event, because it's going to be an awesome event. And the people that are there are going to give great talks, and they're my friends. And I'm missing out on butter tarts and coffee crisp from Canada and the things that I normally see and get and interact with with people who I know are going to be there. But at the same time, I need a weekend of just rejuvenation, and I'm going to take it. [00:05:37] Speaker B: Yeah, good. Good for you. You have to, you know, I mean, can't pour from that empty vessel, right? And I'm. It's funny because over the course of the past couple of years, people have said, make sure you take care of yourself. And I'm like, what does that mean? [00:05:57] Speaker A: Right? [00:05:58] Speaker B: I don't know what take care of. I take care of the kids, I take care of the house animals, the husband. I take care of everything. I take care of everyone. Self care? What does that even mean? So I really kind of started, like, investigating what does that mean? And I really came up to the conclusion of, like, it's different for everyone. I'm like, oh, that would make a great blog post for work. So I just posted that yesterday of, like, how did you self care for, like, all of the different motivational dimensions and stuff? And I find it so amusing. As soon as I post it, I'm like, my throat feels kind of fucking. [00:06:27] Speaker A: Like, what's going on? [00:06:29] Speaker B: I, you know, spirit or the universe has a very funny sense of humor. [00:06:36] Speaker A: A dark sense of humor. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. Oh, self care. Let's see what that means to you. What will you do now? And I'm not so sure. I don't know if I'm doing a very good job of it, because I should be just like, Michelle can't meet with you. I gotta go lie down. But I'm literally lying down and my brain just keeps going. So that's not self care. I'd rather talk to you, you know, for me, knowing who I am. But, yeah, I. But I've had the same experience of, like, seeing you in Asia, although when you were in Asia and Europe. I'm like, man, that was a long flight. And watch how fast it's over. Like, it's like, you know, it's like two days. It goes by so fat. [00:07:13] Speaker A: It really does. [00:07:14] Speaker B: It's like you travel just as long as you're there. And I'm like, I'm not. I don't feel like I'm missing out. Although if I could go for like a week. If it was like a week long word camping, right to Reno, I'd be like, now we're talking. I could go for a week, but then I'd be done with it. Then I'd be like, okay, I'm done with word camps. [00:07:33] Speaker A: All for the rest of the year, probably. Yeah. [00:07:36] Speaker B: So much WordPress. I can do a few days, but then after that, it's like, are we really going to fight about elementor versus the block editor for another day? [00:07:47] Speaker A: I made a sticker once for one of the word camp Rochester. It said, I press all the words. And Kathy's like, I'm just going to press some of the words this year. [00:07:55] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Just some of them still love WordPress, but it's like, I don't know, I kind of, like, made my. [00:08:05] Speaker A: There's. [00:08:05] Speaker B: There's so much debate about, like, which way to go with WordPress and how is WordPress gonna go and all of this stuff, and I'm kind of like, I've made my decision, so even that argument doesn't really mean anything to me. [00:08:16] Speaker A: I hear ya. [00:08:16] Speaker B: I'm gonna stick with cadence. It's easiest way to do things, and it's kind of where I'm at, and I'm in the black space and, yeah. [00:08:24] Speaker A: I. I'm building a new cadence site. This started this weekend, probably Sunday, because I've taken tomorrow to do nothing. And I've been working on one that's now public for a local Lions club. Like, I got hired to create a Lions Club website so they can, you know, put all their information out there and they can receive it. It's kind of funny because, bless them all, but I think the youngest person in the group is 70, right? So really, they cannot. Cannot understand why you can't take Venmo through a form on a WordPress website. Well, we have a Venmo account. Can't they just, you know, hit Venmo? No, no, you can't. Just doesn't work that way. [00:09:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:10] Speaker A: Can I interest you in a PayPal account? Perhaps a stripe account? So I'm like, I am putting together some documentation, but at the very least, people can interact with them. There's a gallery. They can see the kind of stuff they're doing, and they love the site. They just want Venmo on it. And I'm just like, I have done so much research to see if there's any way possible. And I'm like, well, can we just put the venmo. Could we just put our Venmo tag on the site only if you want everybody and their brother requesting money from you. And then I can just see these, like, 80 year olds going, yeah, okay. Oh, shoot, there goes $100, you know, so, yeah, no, that's probably not the best. The best way to move forward anyway. But, yeah, so that's the. But it looks. The site's beautiful. I've done a lovely job with it, if I do say so myself. [00:10:00] Speaker B: Awesome. [00:10:02] Speaker A: But, yeah, but I do love cadence, and that's like, yeah, I can build a site, so. And this is not. We're not sponsored by Cadence. We just really like it. [00:10:11] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:10:13] Speaker A: But I'm building a website that's also going to use learndash that is going to teach people how to. Was going to hopefully teach people a lot of things over time, but the first class is going to be on how to build your personal brand. And I'm working with Adam Weeks, who is an educator in his past life to understand how to put together the pedagogy and the curriculum. And how do we go from, I have this idea to actually having a course online, and he's also in pr, so we're a good pair to work together on this and get it launched and. Yeah, so I'm excited about that, too. So there's a lot of things going on and. But tomorrow, none of them. None of them tomorrow. Except maybe cameras and nature. Yeah. [00:10:58] Speaker B: Nice. Nice. That's good. Good for you. I'm glad. I'm learning the art of delegating and I mean, I've learned the art of delegating, although I kind of like my fingers and everything. But I've got a couple of. A couple of things going on, but I'm not doing much of the work. I'm doing much of the direction. But my son needs video editing work. I'm like, I've got some ideas. I'll just record a bunch of things. You make them all work and you put them all on. And so he's doing all of the heavy lifting, and all I got to do is show up and talk, and everyone knows I can do that, but just delegating to him, so he'll be working on stuff. But, yeah, that's okay. [00:11:41] Speaker A: That works. [00:11:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:43] Speaker A: Well, let them do that, huh? [00:11:45] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:11:46] Speaker A: Delegation is definitely good. It's not always easy to find somebody to delegate personal tasks to, but, you know, like my friend Jeff that I work with, coworker, he comes over, co works once a week. That's when my grocery delivery comes because he doesn't mind taking ten minutes to get the groceries from the front door into the cupboards and, you know, wherever else stuff goes. So. Yeah, because it's something that would take me an hour to drag things around the house, and I'd be exhausted and worried about fall falling. And he just is like, boom, it's done. You know? So some things are easier to delegate than others, that's for sure. [00:12:17] Speaker B: But, yeah, nice. Nice. [00:12:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I. [00:12:20] Speaker B: Well, I've had to do stuff around, like, I tried to. When was it? Like, Monday night. We have this really tall bush. It's, like, shaped like this, but now it's like. And people have to, like, go like this around it. [00:12:34] Speaker A: Bees in there and everything. [00:12:35] Speaker B: I'm like, I need to trim it, at least so people can walk by on the sidewalk to get to the front door. So I started to trim this bush, and then I was just like, the yard needs to be mowed. I called the yard guy and I'm like, can you please just do this bush? He charged. He did two of them and charged me, like, $80 for two. I was just like, why did. [00:12:53] Speaker A: Why did I try to do that myself? [00:12:54] Speaker B: And he did, like, all the way to the top. Like, I was just like, all right, nobody's gonna get killed here. [00:13:00] Speaker A: Just like, a path for the bush. [00:13:02] Speaker B: And then I like, this one bush is trying to grow into the air conditioner. So this morning I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna trim that up because I know it got nightmare last year. And I go and I start to trim it up. There's a snake in the bush, a brown snake that looks like the tree. And I'm, like, cutting it. It's like, not a poisonous snake, but still there's a snake in the bush. [00:13:21] Speaker A: No, thank you. [00:13:22] Speaker B: I'm done. I'm done. Like, I can't. I have to delegate everything. I'm really going to just delegate everything except for, like, I don't know, maybe, like, Instagram reels this weekend. I'm just not going to do anything else. [00:13:35] Speaker A: I don't blame you. And you need to feel better. So that's one thing, is when you burn the candle at both ends and then you get sick, it's so much harder to recover without the proper hydration. [00:13:49] Speaker B: Dragging yourself through it, right? You're just dragging yourself through this. This thing that, you know, just has to get done and you'll feel better and, like, having of it done, but you're not going to feel better. You just feel relief, right? It's not like a better thing, like getting the new air conditioner. I'm like, oh, gosh, I got that for four years. I'm, like, known that this air conditioner. Like, please, just one more year. Please, one more year. And then I'm like, all right, this is the year I'm going to do it before summer even starts. [00:14:16] Speaker A: And he puts it in. [00:14:17] Speaker B: And I love my air conditioner guy. And I'm like, this is the worst purchase ever. Like, I don't feel any joy giving you money. I'm so sorry. [00:14:27] Speaker A: Yep, I know what you mean. [00:14:28] Speaker B: I spend this money on something that's, like, fun. Like, anything would be more fun than a new air conditioner. Like, new tires on the car. I'd like, go get in the car. I'm like, oh, yeah, I got new tires. Like, it's just. I don't know. [00:14:42] Speaker A: Sometimes adulthood sucks. [00:14:45] Speaker B: It does. [00:14:46] Speaker A: Remember when you were a kid? You're like, I can't wait to have adult money. You're like, oh, yeah, just keep that dream, kid. Because adult money means air conditioners and tires and all of the things siding on your house and medical bills and. Oh, can I introduce you in some, like, metamucil, too, perhaps? You know, like, so much we have to spend money on as grown ups that it's like, yeah, at least, but we do twice now. And I was like, let's do one of those again today. But I think people get tired of it as our favorite things, so we do get to spend money on some of our favorite things sometimes. And sometimes it's fun to send people gifts. Like, I sent you a tiara and you sent me a tarot deck. And. Yeah, those are funny that I ate an h vac, though. [00:15:34] Speaker B: I don't know if you can see, but it is. [00:15:36] Speaker A: Oh, that's beautiful. Is it lapis? [00:15:38] Speaker B: Yes. Lovely. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:41] Speaker B: And it was only, like, $12 on Etsy and always wanted some lapis jewelry, and I kind of, like, just liked it. It's. So that was my. That's my mother's day gift to myself, but good for you. [00:15:55] Speaker A: Air conditioner. [00:15:57] Speaker B: My little mother's day present. And then Claire hasn't gotten me anything, but her friend. Her friend gave me tulips. Like, this little package, like a little planted thing of tulips. Because I'm like her second mom, and I'm like, are you trying to make Claire look bad because it's working in front of Claire? [00:16:16] Speaker A: Never mind. [00:16:18] Speaker B: Yeah, so there's little things. There's little things, but, yeah, I'm like, I don't know. I don't I don't have a fomo right now of. For anything like you. I had to miss out on a company retreat, and it was this beautiful property, and stuff happened with the person who was going to hang out with Mark and I. It just got really super complicated, and I just made the decision of, like, I can't handle. I can't do this right now. Like, yeah, I'm glad I didn't because things happened here that I had to be here for. And so it was almost like. But, yeah, I just. I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired. I just need to rest. [00:17:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I want a vacation. Like a real vacation. I want to go to a resort where people wait on me hand in foot. It's not in the cards right away. [00:17:12] Speaker B: Like an all inclusive. [00:17:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, exactly. That would just be so nice. Yeah. Cabana boy. I don't know. I didn't say that part out loud, but anyway. But, yeah, it would be fun. It would be fun. I need to take a vacation with somebody who can help with my scooter, though. Like, everything. I can't just, like, get up and go. I need. Everything requires planning, and that's just such a pain in the ass. But I'm not complaining. I still have it better than so many other people, and I get that. And I am a privileged person, and I get that, but it doesn't. But understanding your privilege doesn't negate your emotion around events and things. And you still have mental health to be concerned about, and you still have physical health to be concerned about. And, yeah, I recognize that I have privilege and I recognize that I have things way better than other people. But it doesn't always mean that you find the happiness or the whatever in the day to day, every day. And that's okay. We're allowed to. We're allowed to be in our feelings when we need to be in our feelings. And. Yeah, and have the Jomo and the FoMO and the whatever almost are out there. [00:18:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And just prioritizing self care, like, you might be missing out, but if you're. If you're not caring for yourself, there's no self to miss anything, so you have to really? [00:18:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:40] Speaker B: First. [00:18:40] Speaker A: The first time I ever heard self care, I thought it just meant, like, going to a spa. Like, now that I'm older, like, I realize that, like, just taking a nap or reading a book or putting my headphones on and listening to certain kinds of music or the same, like, I love. I love Joseph in the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. With Donny Osmond. And, like, I will listen to that on my Amazon echo four times in a row, wake up with a song stuck in my head and still be happy that I got to listen to that. And so, like, little things like that can make such a big difference. But, yeah. And yesterday with my groceries, I ordered my favorite bread and my favorite cheese spread, and I had that for lunch today. And that was a little thing that made me a little bit happy, too. So. Yeah. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Awesome. That's great. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Well, I hope that you start feeling better quickly. Take the time that you need. I know that it's hard when you are the primary caregiver for somebody else, but, you know, put on those, Vicki, put on your noise canceling headphones and go to another room and give yourself a couple of hours where you can just rest and hopefully your brain can calm down and you can actually start to feel better. And, of course, as always, lots of water. Push the fluids. [00:19:55] Speaker B: Got my water good. [00:19:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. Yes, you too. I love you and I hope you feel better. [00:20:04] Speaker B: Thank you so much. [00:20:06] Speaker A: You're welcome. [00:20:07] Speaker B: Everybody else, take care of yourself. [00:20:09] Speaker A: Absolutely. And we'll see you on the next episode where we never know what we're going to talk about or how we'll look or how we feel, but. But we'll be here. Bye bye. This has been WP motivate with Kathy Zant and Michelle Freshet. To learn more or to sponsor us, go to wpmotivate.com.